4 Years.....

 

4 years.

I don't want to say "He would have been 4 years old" because that doesn't feel right.

As hard as it is to say, he's not supposed to be 4 years old.

He's right where he needs to be.

It's not hard to say that Heavenly Father knows best.

It's just hard that I have to be temporarily parted from a piece of my heart.

 

I was trying to think of any memories I've had of him that I haven't written down. All I could think of is the blessing that I got to see him smile. What a miracle. What a privilege.

 

I was thinking of how young the girls were and how much they loved to bath him. How they would even push each other to be the closest to him.

 

He reminds me so much of Elijah. So peaceful and wonderful.

 

I am the most blessed woman in the world. It's very undeserved, but much appreciated.

 

Christina gave a talk in church on Sunday. We got a reminder call in the morning, thank goodness, because she had forgotten. She quickly came up with her talk. It was about families are part of Heavenly Father's plan. How blessed to hear her understanding of exactly what our purpose here on earth is. We are here to receive bodies. We are here to be tested. We are here to have joy.

 

I'm grateful the eyes of my understanding were opened. That through the death of my sweet child, I was able to see things.

Miracles. Love. Mercy.

 

Not a day goes by that he isn't in my thoughts.

He is part of my soul.

Forever.

 

Today, I'm trying to do things to keep busy. I've written some cards to friends who have recently had great losses. I took the kiddos to Wild Island. I've listened to A Horse With No Name a few times. I had lunch with my mom. She visited the cemetery today and as she was walking to Joe's burial site, the sprinklers turned on. :)