Peace, Peace, Be Still

Tonight I sang to my mom. She is very sick in the ICU. I read scriptures to her, prayed, and told her over and over how much I love her and how beautiful she is.

I hear her voice in my mind. I feel so close to her. I just want her to be at peace and not suffering. I can't keep up with everything that is wrong. Liver failure. Kidney failure. Pneumonia. Cellulitis. Low Blood Pressure. Internal Bleeding. Jaundice. It happened so quickly.

My heart has shattered. There are no words for the sadness.

And yet, I know God lives. I know He has made it possible for us to live again through His Holy Son, Jesus Christ.

The peace and comfort are there. The grief is still hard to bear.

Christina came to the hospital to say goodbye. Her sorrow was so pure. She was hesitant to touch Yaya. And then, she threw herself into a big hug. She laid on Yaya's stomach and cried silently. One of the best choices I made in life was to name my sweet firstborn girl after my hero, my mother. Christina. Anointed. Blessed.

Master, with anguish of spirit

I bow in my grief today.

The depths of my sad heart are troubled.

Oh, waken and save, I pray!

Torrents of sin and of anguish

Sweep o'er my sinking soul,

And I perish! I perish! dear Master.

Oh, hasten and take control!

 

The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:

Peace, be still.

Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea

Or demons or men or whatever it be,

No waters can swallow the ship where lies

The Master of ocean and earth and skies.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

Peace, be still; peace, be still.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

Peace, peace, be still.

 

Master, the Tempest is Raging Hymns 106